Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
