Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
