her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
