he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
