Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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