the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have post one night stand depression
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