i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
