i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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