Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
