Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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