Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
