no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Randomize
