I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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