We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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