Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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