Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
