THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
