I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
third nipple confirmed
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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