Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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