Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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