I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
