She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
