Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Congratulations! We have a period
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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