Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
