So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
