You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Houston, we have a blender
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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