I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
