Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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