there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
