i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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