come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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