I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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