chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
thus making me awesome and them whores
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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