just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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