come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
