i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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