you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
