The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
