He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
