You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
