Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
