so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize