Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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