Need sex. Gaining weight.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
