What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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