kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
