im having a threesome with these popsicles
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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