ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
