I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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