it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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